By ED CHRISTIAN 

I CAST my first presidential vote, in 1972, age 18, for George McGovern. Since then, I still haven't managed to vote for a winner. I've always tried to vote for the best candidate, rather than by party, but there's rarely been a candidate who inspired me.

I've been a registered Republican for a couple of decades, and consider myself a conservative. But I don't know who to vote for.

I can't remember when there has last been a conservative presidential candidate still around at election time. There have been some promising starters, but they haven't drawn big donations or popular support.

What is a true conservative? Why would I say there isn't a conservative candidate this year?

Perhaps it's a matter of definition, but it seems to me that we've been stretching our definition of "conservative" far too broadly.

True conservatives work to conserve what's worth saving, to protect it, polish it, keep it in good repair. People driving old junkers with smoke blowing out the back aren't conservatives. Conservatives are people who restore the junkers to beauty and usefulness. Countries also need constant attention and sometimes restoration.

True conservatives don't vote for tax cuts paid for by national debt. They are cautious about spending what they don't have. They don't incur debts their children will find painful to pay.

True conservatives insist on full funding of pension funds and don't let companies draw them down, manage them, or stuff them with company stock.

True conservatives invest excess Social Security taxes rather than using the money to pay for other debts while complaining about an approaching "crisis."

They don't propose cheating the elderly by letting the young invest their own Social Security taxes and keep the rewards for themselves (or suffer the penalties if their investments go sour).

True conservatives maintain national land so it can be enjoyed and used in perpetuity. They allow hunting, lumbering and mining, but balance use with preservation and charge a fair price for lumber, grazing and mineral rights.

True conservatives don't allow current uses that will lead to future calamity. They limit petroleum use now, for example, so we can develop alternatives before a crisis forces draconian action.

True conservatives might back a gas-guzzler tax of $1,000 per mile-per-gallon for passenger vehicles averaging less than 30 mpg (including pickups and SUVs), balanced by a credit for vehicles getting more. (An SUV might cost $15,000 more, and a Prius might get a $15,000 rebate, paid for by the SUV tax. In a few years, we'd be using much less petroleum.)

TRUE conservatives conserve lives and happiness and foster prosperity. They help the homeless find homes, the jobless find jobs, the sick get health care, the dying die with dignity and minimum pain. They help the elderly stay in their homes helping them find caregivers.

True conservatives place the preservation of public well-being above maximum short-term profit.

True conservatives also place the public well-being above the claims of lobbyists. The profits of the auto industry, the insurance industry, the litigation industry, drug companies or any other money-making and donation-making concern should never be more important than conserving the country and its citizens.

True conservatives hesitate to invade foreign countries, lest the chaos and enmity they cause outweigh any possible advantage those living in those countries might reap. They also don't invade foreign countries to get what they want at a better price.

True conservatives sit down with their enemies and try to see their side of issues. They solve problems and work things out rather than fight.

If we had some true conservatives running for office, I'd get excited, work for their election, make donations. But where are they? Are there any in Washington? And to what party do they belong? *

Ed Christian teaches English at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania.